she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
