so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
