Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
