Just fell off a train. Bad.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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