escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
