I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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