Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
