were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
