NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
