I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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