I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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