why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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