I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
