She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
