I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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