What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She announced her abortion via fbk
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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