Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
