and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
