CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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