She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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