I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
