sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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