wanna go halves on a baby?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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