i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
