Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Shame - the story of my life.
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