Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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