Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
