@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
