Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
