Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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