google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
