I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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