Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
