he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
