Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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