and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
