i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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