That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
