If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
