It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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