So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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