The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
