Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
