I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
even my farts smell like vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
