so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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