Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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