Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
