is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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