this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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