so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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