I wish I could punch you in the face.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
