11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
