I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
